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Execution

Stuck on control

Stardate 2004.10

A lean four-legged, soft-brown creature trotted by without giving a glance. Though it appeared to be on its own, there is a red harness and leash upon itself. Through what seemed to be the respiratory end, a red rope-like protrusion hung about as the creature looked about.

I wonder what sort of other creatures I might see while I phase into this Taipei Plants location. Plants appear a unique place, rare of the Taiwan country, of Western-society vegan fare than the oil and soy drenched vegetarian buffets that exist aplenty.

The locals consume fair amounts of black-brewed substances and things called lattes. What alchemies are these compounds that energize people so in the afternoon?

And so, the freed imagination roams. Barely noticing the fence entrusted to keep it confined. Haha, the imaginations laugh while sharing, you shouldn’t have used chain-linked.

The past two weeks have been pains of mind. I recognize that the health situation of my kids and residency visa paperwork is out of my control. Yet, I still put energy into worry as if I did control their destinies. That is too much, which leads to the mental stability of bleak futures.

And, for the decisions I can control, they’re held back until my lack of control over home and kids is decided upon by others. So, for two weeks, the pressure to move forward builds while holding back.

Ugh… what a shame to find me in such a position. My life is good, effectively great, yet with this abruption in our daily life, I’m questioning hard my place in it.

Those questions aren’t all bad, given that reflection leads to action. And while it’s been a couple of weeks of low activity, I’m feeling to make progress again. (That was the extended version for how my week has been; the short version is a bunch of curse words.)

Thank goodness hollers the back of the head voice.

Though I was wanting to simplify things regarding my weekly objectives, I also wanted to bring greater clarity as to how my daily actions, hopefully, positive habits feed into my being the person I want to be. Therefore, my sub-objectives around self-care, relationships, and leadership have come into being.

I don’t want the measure of my success in life to be whether I did something or not. However, I’ve learned that these little things that I’m reminding myself about do lead into action-choices that are closer to the person I desire. Therefore, I’m going to keep these key results around for a bit longer.

As shared a few weeks ago, I had the best metrics week in a long, long-time. Yet, we’re back down again, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I think it’s showing that I’m pondering how to bring about more reflection upon mind and body outcomes, which require different ways to be represented. And this parent-child objectives breakdown plus asking myself about values directly is a first attempt to add softer aspects to hard tracking.

I know more iterations of these objectives will come. It’s often hard to recognize a good enough stage; sometimes, you’ve just got to decide and go. And, though life continues to be a bit rough moving forward, I’m going again.

Thank you for your patience while I’ve stumbled.

Peace and may the bark be with you,

Michael

P.S. When I feel like giving a seven out of ten scores, I now make the harder decision to rescind as six or strive for eight. Seven is too much like the middle of the road.

By Michael Cannon

Boundless Virgo water-rat, Drusus & Jace's remote dad, for @Axelerant's success, of conscious choices & simple living by kindness through curiosity & reflection

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