I had been having a hard time getting into self-development this summer. I just couldn’t seem to read something towards bettering myself or Axelerant.
I was telling myself that it was okay because we’re working on Axelerant foundations and that we’re not looking to innovate past what we have been discussing.
I think the reality is that I had burned out long before I recognized it. I probably had burned out mentally back in late May when my drive to learn by reading disappeared.
It took me until late July to recognize that something was wrong with me, and in August, I realized that I was mentally dead.
I have prided myself on taking reasonable care for myself. In the name of there’s lots happening, and I’m in the best position to get things done, I pushed myself.
While admirable, that behavior is not sustainable.
Because though I finally took a week off from work, I still put in nearly a day’s effort during that time. And it took four working days after coming back to catch up.
There’s still pressure in my mind that some of our programs aren’t as far along as they should be. And, though I’m traveling to visit my girlfriend right now, I’ll be putting time in at the hotel this weekend to work on things I didn’t do this past week. Nor expect to have enough opportunity for next week.
Upfront, I continue to love what I do, and I’m excited daily to be working with all of Axelerant’s team members.
Yet, I’m not the role model I should be. I demonstrated that we give it all, to sacrifice a bit of ourselves to a purpose that doesn’t call for such.
So, I ask of you and myself, let’s not just take care of ourselves, but take better care.
To give an extra moment before we commit to consider that are we in the right frame of mind and is what we’re working on of the right priority.
Those questions aren’t perfect, though good enough, I feel, to help us take a breather.
I know I’m a workaholic, and in a decade of befriending Ankur, I deeply suspect they are too.
Therefore, though we appear to give our all, I hope we also demonstrate balance. And in turn, we all take Axelerant further than we’ve imagined.